Couple of things..

to say, and you know what? I don't give a fuck if you don't like them. For starters, this is me. I am who I am, and fuck you if you don't like it. I'm tired of bending through hoops to make sure you're ass is comfortable, while sticking my own in a pile of thorns.

Oh, and yes, this is me talking, not Lestat. Whoa whoa whoa, wait what? Khai, being.. an ass? Yes bitch, because I'm not happy with a lot of things going on. I'm tired of the constant judging. Who the FUCK are you, to judge me?

Fuck you, and you're momma too.

Is Khai having a bad day? you might ask yourself. Well my answer to that is, what the fuck is it to you? You don't know me. You don't know who I am, or what I go through on a daily basis. And no, I'm not talking about external things either.

I'm talking about just being me. The trials and tribulations of being one Kaiden James Finn. I don't expect you to understand, and even more so, I really could care less if you did. Hell, even if you tried to understand, I still wouldn't give you a second thought.

Who is you?

Well you are you, dumb ass.

I personally, like me, hell, I love me. Even with all my crazy thoughts and feelings, notions and motions. I AM HAPPY being me. Who and what I am. Yes, things are slow and could be going a lot faster than I'd like, but that's getting to the physical, of which bitch, I really care nothing for, but just a slight bit in certain moods.

Other wise, it can all just jump ship. I'm a spiritual being, and that is where I reside. I am lost in this fucking daydream and dreaming my life away. Got a problem with it? Take it some where else, because I don't fucking care.

My life, is not lived for you, but for me.

Want a life to bitch about, take a look at your own.

-Khai

Every night..

before I fall asleep, a million thoughts run through my head.

I should probably stop just letting them run loose, because by the time I get up for the day, they have since ran so much, I can no longer focus on the actual thoughts/feelings they were posing.

Despite obviously, they are still there in my subconscious, I need to get them out. I need to talk/blog about them. Else, they are just going to continue to confuse me, and depress me.

And we all don't want that right?

Right.

So much I want and need to do, will I ever be able to?

That is one of the major thoughts that keep plaguing me, upsetting me. I talked to Kash a little about it last night, despite I didn't speak on all that was on my mind.

Not because I didn't want to, but mostly because I just couldn't figure out a way to get the words out. I rarely can find the right words anyway.

Constantly worried..

yes.

-Khai