Just don't want to?

Ever get the feeling where all of the sudden you realize, that everything you thought was important, just...isn't? Screw the fucking facebook apps. Screw the games and whether or not I'm in the lead. Screw it. Every day, all day, I sit here at the damn computer. Every day, I am missing out on everything that really IS important. Like the ones I love, the ones that count on me. The ones that love me, just as much as I do them. Why?

Well, no more. I don't want to go on ignoring them. Letting life pass me by, because I'm 26 now, I've got nothing to show for it. No education, no job, just a mess. Yes, I have love, yes, I have family, but what good am I to them really? I'm not. Am I? Not in one of the most important parts of my responsibility to them.

I've lost myself, in these games. I've forgotten who and what I am. I've forgotten how to express myself, forgotten how to convey my message. No more. I don't want it. I want me. I want me back, for them. For myself. For all that is good, and all that is kind. I want my life back. I'm taking it back. Starting, now.

-Khai

New beginnings? Sad endings.

So, starting with the sad endings, I'm sad to say, we wont have our subscription much longer. But, I am just very thankful to Nina, for allowing us to have it thus far. It's been real fun playing. I'm going to miss it, but we'll get it back as soon as we can. In the mean time, what are we going to do?

Well, hopefully, I'll be getting a job. And soon. Going to Ingles the other day, seeing Taco Bell there, something told me to go inside and get an application. I did, came home, filled it out, then asked Pa if he could take us back, the next day, to turn it in. That, was yesterday.

With in just a few hours, I had a call from the manager there, asking me to come in for an interview. It's set for this Friday, so wish me luck. If even at the slightest, I get few hours a week, that is still money coming in, of which we so desperately need.

And if I get some money coming in, I plan on sending some of it to Nins, to again renew our subscriptions to Wizard. And then, I'll be taking my sexy man of mine, to the movies. He's been dieing to see HP6, so I want to take him. I don't want to see it, but at the same time, I do.

I'm hoping Kash can get a job too, but if not, I'm okay working solo for a while. I am, however, NOT okay with paying bills etc, when that fucktard is up there, running the bills up like crazy. I hate him. I want him gone. [start rant]PA NEEDS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIM!!![end rant]

-Khai

Cup of Borovan anyone?

I wonder how many will actually understand that, lol. Oh well. So, I was supposed to blog, not long after the last one, however, I just didn't. Ever feel like you're being watched? Only in this exact sense, it's more my thoughts, or more specific, my blog, is being read. Not either, just by normal readers, my followers, and the random come across either. Sometimes I feel as though a specific person, or persons are using my blog as a means to spy on me, and my every day life.

Call me paranoid, I don't really care. Some might understand, as they know what little is going on about it, by word of mouth, from mine, or Kash's. Pardon me for being cryptic, but yeah. That's all I can be right now. Aside from this shit, things are okay. I'm doing well, Kash is doing well. The mice, are fine. Things are well, if only things on the job front were looking so good.

-Khai