Peeps

Sunday, November 30, 2008

It's hard to believe...

and even harder to comprehend, when you know that the one person that has given you SO much to be thankful for, gives you so much to hurt and almost wish you had never met them. I just, I can't even express how this understanding alone, tears me up inside. To know that she has given me, so much. Hope. Love. Understanding. Courage. Belief. But now... greif, confusion, anger, and worry.

How can I go on, every word she speaks, I have to question. I miss her, I miss the way she made me smile and laugh. I can't honestly say the last time she made me smile, or laugh. Now, it seems, I'll never be able to get where I'm meant to go. I've wasted, almost an entire year away. Waiting on false promises. Her lies, my dreams. I know she doesn't deliberately do it, and mean to lie.

But her lies, her false truths, her fake promises, they fucking hurt. And I'm near done. I've been near done for so long now. Almost since before she even left. I can't take it anymore. I've decided, if she doesn't buy the tickets in the next few days, her and I will officially be over. I will divorce her, I will have nothing to do with her any longer. I wont do this anymore. I can't. I'm wasting away, on maybes. It's just not worth it.

-Khai

4 comments:

  1. love sometimes.. doesn't last forever.. and the hardest thing to find out is that you love someone that doesn't love you back.. we are all programed to believe that love is this great utopia of never ending happiness and bliss.. it isn't .. it has it's ups and down.. and in love.. there will be heartache.. just know that you are not along in your sadness and pain.. *hugs* you always have me to talk to.. i am sorry that you feel this way.. i sincerely hope that things get better for you..

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hope you get things sorted whether that be together or not together. Gd luck hun <3.

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  3. All I can say is, I love you, and we'll get through this with or without her.

    ReplyDelete

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