Little Penguin Needs A Name…

So, a little update. Kash and I managed to get the 2,000 turbine needing to purchase Moria before the sale disappeared. Just five minutes before 3 am. Which is the time in which the day changes in game, bc they are based in CA? I guess. IDK. Lol. Have made a warden since then, and Kash made a rune keeper. I don’t think I will enjoy the RK much as it seems about as complicated as the wardens are. However, its rated moderate, where as WD is rated Advanced. SO, it might be easier, and I’m just over complicating it because I haven’t played first hand.

Currently, we are half-ass doing the festival quests on the newbs. Kinda ground out from the TGrind a week ago. Been playing Sims3 instead. I had been enjoying it, but lately I’ve been running in to the ‘freeze’ bug. I will need to try to DPS the new .exe files from the new games Kash got me for Xmas. I really like Island Paradise, though Into the Future is interesting just the same. My guy that is time traveling is a bot maker and I’ve been having fun learning how it all works.

One thing I don’t know about yet is if the simbots from Ambitions are countered by this EP. I suppose I can google to find out, or just get his inventing leveled up to be able to make a simbot to check. He only made two plumbots so far, and both are pretty much maids//butlers. Lol. Though he did install the ability to fish for both to help bring in some money. He needs to level up some more to be able to make the chip to garden. At which time he’ll swap out one of their fishing for gardening.

Anyway, we got some toys for the cats for Xmas, as well as some cheap things from Target made of felt for the ratties to make hammocks with. Also got a cute penguin toy for dogs, for myself that was on sale pretty cheap at Petsmart. So, that’s my gift to myself. Lol. Kash got a polar bear one too. They are really cute. Even the ratties like them once they got over the fear of the squeak. My penguin needs a name tho, and I can’t think of anything other than Pete, and um, no. Ha.

As Pa likes to say: It's pissing the rain

Since about 3am its been once again raining this fall season. Ground around here is about flooded. Just wanted to post a quick update and test the photos out using the app.. :) ok nm. Lol I will add the photos in later when we get home. Running to the store for foods. Did some more deeding on LOTRO earlier. Still have 900+ more turbine to a acquire.

Lol nm again. Figured out how to add pic. Woot.

Long time coming..

Well, since I can't sleep due to constant coughing and choking on my own asthma phlegm I figured I would try to use this phone for some me time. Life, well.. its had its ups and downs. That is for sure. Health isn't that great but hey, I could be dead. Twenty-six babies to love,  plus two teenagers. Oh and can't forget to mention the five liller babies and all those we have had and lost way before we were ready to. But hey, c'est la vie.

Kash and I are still together, and madly in love. Sure we argue but meh. Its all good. Right now we are actually trying to sleep. As you can tell, its not working so great for me. He on the other hand is snoring right next to me. Ha. We had a hard day grinding on LOTRO for TP. Managed to almost get 500 today. Need 1000 more. Wish us luck. Trying to earn Moria, RK and WD. Alright.. well off to try to sleep again.

Gluten Sucks, Just Sayin'

SO, I have a lot I could blog about. I know it's been forever since I've even tried. So many words, so many I can't even think of all them to actually write down. My brothers girlfriend had a baby. His, of course. Not happy about it, but whatever. I think it was completely irresponsible. But what do I know. I'm not a parent. By choice, more than anything. Despite I really want children. I just know that I wouldn't want to bring one in to this world knowing that I can't properly support it. Can't support myself.

From what my mother tells me, he is having serious problems with his liver. Well no shit Sherlock, stop drinking! Think he is? No. So not only did he bring a child in to this world, with a girl he isn't even sure he wants to spend his life with, but he's not taking care of his own damn self. Yet he wants to take care of an innocent baby? Whatever.

Nailah has been in heat.. for like 7 months now... she goes out of heat for a couple of days but then she is back in heat. Though we are beginning to wonder if its an actual heat, and not what we have termed "pseudo-heat". Since she has a hard time allowing herself to receive affection, we are wondering if she's not putting herself in this false heat so as to trick her mind in to allowing the affection that she needs, and wants from us. Nikhil is being his usual purr but. He isn't throwing up as much, but he does have his moments.

Maiko is still alive and kicking, but she is definitely an old woman. She hardly can move around but she does try. We take her out and put her in her own little cage every now and then so she can get a break from Ume, as she is still hyper as effing ever. Omg to the point where we are at wits end. She wont stop jumping, chewing, and annoying Sakura. Sakura finally gets so annoyed with her that she pins her down to get her to stop. It works. For like two seconds.

On to Gluten. SO, this sucks. But, going gluten free helped me tremendously. However it is so EXPENSIVE to do so. I've told Kash that I might have to just start eating Cereal all day (gluten free ones of course, like CHEX) just so I can feel better. I'd type more on the subject but I'm way too tired.Sigh.

Khai.

And more death...

Well, Shemeit is close to death. Having out lived her sisters by over a year, suprisingly she hasn't had any -known- health issues. She still has her sight, she still has her hearing, and no visible ailments or maladies. However, she seems to have suffered from a stroke very recently. Probably with in the last few hours. Now, she just keeps rolling around in circles, trying to get to the other side. If you hold her though, and pet at her just right, she seems to fall in to a trance and even sleep a little.

But, after a moment, she wakes back up and tries to roll over again, and again. So, she has three options for death now. Starvation. Dehydration. And another stroke/heart attack something or other that which did this to her in the first place. After Rasui died, I decided I didn't want any more pets..because it's just too difficult watching them die. And knowing you really can't do anything to help them. Yet, we went and got Tieri in hopes she would be a good companion for Shemeit.

But, Tieri is mean. We can't even hold her. That was a mistake. We had hoped that she would ease up, much like Shemeit, Rasui and Mnoti did. But, nope. She's still mean, and hates people. Been almost a year we had her, and no change, no progress. Just the same mean mouse. Wonderful. Probably wont even know she's dead until we start smelling her decaying body. That's how often we visit her any more. Take her cage down, give her food/water and then leave her alone.

I blame Petsmart. They -said- they hadn't had her alone in the cage for long, but her behavior proves otherwise. It's hard to socialize mice once they are alone for a certain time.

Hitome, has a large tumor/mass growing on her back end. It's giving her diarhea. Or more so, it's pushing her poop out before it has time to harden completely. Other wise she -seems- healthy. We are hoping whatever it is, isn't a tumor, and that it will eventually go away. But something tells me it wont. And it will eventually kill her. After Sakura had that absess (just one day after we noticed it, Hitome's whatever started growing) and we were treating it, so that it would pop, etc.. she's become very cuddly. Loves her 1v1 time with us. Once her absess ruptured and we cleaned it, and maintained it for the next few days while it healed, she hasn't had any other signs of problems.

Maiko had a bout of dehydration the other day. Worried us pretty bad. But we managed to re-hydrate her and she's doing pretty well. Ume, well... Ume is Ume. Nuts. Hyper. Crazy. But cute. We have the AC in the window now. Took a few days of cleaning it out, once we opened it up and took it apart. So no more having to give the rats cool baths daily to help.

Pa.. wow. Is Pa. Maybe I will make a blog later dedicated just to his asshole self, because I sure do not feel up to doing it right now. Let's just say, he is a liar, and a cheat. Who cares more for strangers, than his own flesh and blood.

Have to take Nailah in this coming week for her check up at the vet, and possibly get her shots finally. Nikhi needs to get in for his first visit.. or Nailah's treatment will have been for naught. Since he has what she has. I'm sick, and in need of Sudafed. My asthma is not controlled, still. Despite being on these medications. I think now that it has to do with the rats. But I can't be positive unless I spent at least 14 days with out having them in this room. No way to do that, because of well... Pa. Another reason why I just don't want any more pets.

Death for me, is as easy as life. Dying for me, is as hard as living.

Wish there was something I could do to just make it all go away for Shemeit, that didn't require me to physically kill her. I can't afford to take her to the vet to have her euthanized. Blah.

-Khai

Figured I might as well..

Since I have this program (Windows Live Writer) open, and its open to this here blog anyway.. that I’d write a little something something.

Kash and I have been playing some more of the Sims Stories games. We recently got the castaway version. Very different from the main games, and that is sometimes a good thing. MAJOR down fall though, is that you can not build/create new lots.

That in and of itself can cause problems. It basically means you can’t really have children, grandchildren, etc etc. Since you can’t have all these people living in your house at once, you’re only option is to let everyone die, and start over!

Now tell me how is that fun? Exactly, I don’t know either.

Went shopping today, as today is the magic number day O.o and got some food for the month. Our fridge is stocked over full.

Feeling really fat lately. And that’s not like me. But I can’t help it. I’ve gained like 15lbs since I first got sick. And, yeah that might not seem like much, but to me it is. Not because I’m all like, omg, I’m fat. But because, when you’re my size, and you gain 15lbs, you notice it. My pants don’t fit, hell my boxers don’t fit. I really don’t have the money either to buy me more.

And I really don’t have the strength, or the lung capacity to exercise like I need to. And I just had to edit out two extra “to’s” randomly in that sentence. Like, um, huh?

We got this thing called MiO and its SOOO good. You put just a drop in like 8oz of plain water, and it is amazing. I really like the Strawberry Watermelon kind. It makes drinking water, so much easier. And fun!

Other news, Kash and I decided to get the domain for our Wizard101 blog. I think it’s pretty neat. No idea if we’re going to try submitting the blog in to KI (KingIsle) or not. Kash wants to, of course, I want to. But do I think we’ll get elected and approved? I don’t know. It seems like the clique is already set, and anyone that isn’t part of that, is pretty much ignored.

Despite I hope that isn’t the case, it just sometimes feels like it. I mean, we post so much more original content, humor, and all around information. Where as the others? All they do is copy paste.

Boring.

Til later friends,
Khai.

Long time, yet again.

As per my usual of late, I haven’t blogged in what feels like a million years. Though, anyone reading this I’m sure doesn’t care, if you’re here randomly. Only a few people actually read my blog, that I know for a fact do care. And all of you I speak to either on Plurk, messenger, phone, texts, etc etc. Since I changed the link to my blog a while back, most of my readers think I’ve up and disappeared.

In a way, this is good. Since, there were a few things I didn’t want to be read any more by them. Most of them I knew on a bit more of a personal level, more than just an online acquaintance that is. And hard feelings had come between us, I no longer really felt safe knowing they were reading my thoughts, feelings, and goings on in my every day life.

Nothing special about this post. I just felt that since Kash kind of posted not to long ago, I better at least say hey to this here trusty blog of mine. Which has been at times my only outlet, and sanity keeper. Now though, I have much more than that to keep me happy. I will though never forget how much I needed this here thing.

What have I been doing? Much of nothing. Since no where around is hiring, things are getting really stressful where we are staying and living. Being threatened to pay up or pack up. My health, and now worries of Kash’s health declining. Need to some how get him to see a Dr. for these issues. Can’t imagine how much pain he must be in daily.

I wish there was something more I could do, but alas I can not. Barely can do for myself, and most days I can’t even do that. I’m just thankful though that my asthma is at least some what more controlled than before. Since, well lets face it. Before…I was near death. We currently are running low on food, but not for lack of being able to buy groceries. No, now it’s because we supposedly don’t have any vehicles to go to the store with.

Yet… he goes to the store two three times a day, in said vehicles. Out of milk, lots of cereal in the house. And oh, just remembered. We saw a MOUSE run across the floor in the living room last night. It was a fawn colored field mouse. Smaller than Tieri, but just barely. It was either an adult female, or young male. Have to make sure it doesn’t get in to our room where our mice and rats are!

Don’t want them getting any diseases, or worse, pregnant! Nailah has been wonderful lately. She has he moments of meanness but don’t we all? She’s been real sweet, and she enjoys her daily cuddle times. She and Nikhi both have learned some tricks they will do for treats. Such as they sit up, lay down, kisses (which for them it is a nuzzle against your hand, starting at their mouth and they rub against you til your hand goes behind their head to pet them a moment).

Nikhi can jump, but only if he is in a certain mood. Since he’s really lazy. And that requires sometimes too much movement for him! Lol. We often refer to him as our Sloth Kitty. He moves sssoooooossslllllooooowwww it’s not even funny. It’s quite annoying at times, tbh.

Aside from all that, Kash and I have been playing Wizard101 still, lots of improvements in the game there. If you’re interested, you can find the blog we run dedicated to it over there in the blog roll. We update that a lot more often than this. But that’s because it doesn’t have anything personal about us there. Nothing. Wizard101 is a kid friendly game, so that means everything must be rated G. No personal talk. Aside from Wizard101 we were, not so much now, playing Dungeons and Dragons Online, and playing the Sims Stories games. All were missing from that collection is Castaways. But maybe some day we’ll be able to get that one too.

Having a lot of fun there tbh. Maybe we’ll create and dedicate a blog to the sims. Hmm. Something to be thought about and discussed! Take care everyone who reads this!

-Khai

Life....

So, I know I haven't blogged in a really long while. Well, many reasons for that. The main reason is, is that I've been so upset over some of the things that has gone on, I've really just not even felt like writing about it. That in and of itself, should express just how upsetting to me the events have been. My grandmothers passing, of which I've written about, but only hardly. The fact that I really really miss her, and I hate that she is gone. That the entire rest of our family is literally falling apart, now that she is gone. And it seems every ones true colors are starting to show, now that they aren't have to pretend to be someone they obviously aren't, because she was around. 

Like my uncle. Always knew he was a git. But man has he shown just how much of a git he has been since my grand mothers passing. Were talking day after, he was a "new man" to all that thought they knew him, and loved him. Greedy bastard. Telling my grandmother up until the day he died that he didn't, and wouldn't be taking any of the money she had set up for my mother to live off of until she could get on her own two feet after her passing. The day after my grandmother passed, he demanded half of it, saying he had right to it, as her second child, and only son. Fucker.

Like my mother, who can sit there and tell me she loves me, and yet I feel no emotion behind those words she speaks. Allowing her drug addict boyfriend to steal my dog, and then what does she do? She runs off with him! Fuck her, and fuck him, I hope they rot in hell. She came to visit, my mother did. Was so excited. Then she brought her druggie boyfriend with her, and immediately I knew that nothing was going to go well. Only good that came of is, was that finally, we managed to convince a Dr to treat me FOR MY LUNGS! By then I couldn't breathe, had used up all my asthma medicine, and I was near death. And all the Drs at the hospital, and even an actual dr that we paid 400 dollars to go see, said they couldn't/wouldn't help me because my heart rate was elevated.

NO FUCKING SHIT MY HEART RATE IS/WAS ELEVATED, I CANT BREATHE! But no one would listen. So finally, we went some where new, that no one knew me....and forgot to mention all my other run ins with Drs thus far. She listened to my lungs, said I had a slight fever, and prescribed me some heavy duty lung specific antibiotics to clear up what seemed to be a pretty bad lung infection, along with some prednisone and pseudophedrine. Voila. I was much better! I still have some issues I really doubt they will ever go away. Could be due to having had a severe lung infection for 10 months, or could be due to my asthma just having progressed, or could be due to my allergies, living in this damn mold infested house.

OR, could be any combination of the aforementioned possibilities. So, hate living here. Love Kash, love my pets. Nailah's believe it or not, gotten  much better than before. Not perfect, but better. We have a new rat..her name is Sakura. So now it's the four. Shemeit is still alive and kicking. Tieri (Nefritieri) is a bitch as usual. We don't take her out much. Like, ever. Only to clean her cage. Because she just loves to bite. Dhani almost died, but thankfull we lucked in to getting a new tank for him. Lucient, well...he's getting bigger. Pa went up to NY and brought the bitch/whore down there. Along with her baby. So now they are eating our food, and no one seems to think there is anything wrong with that.

T, the bitch neighbor, now never invites us to dinner any more. Only Pa and Whore/baby. It's like we don't even exist any more. WTF. I really hate people. And if it wasn't for Kash, and my family of pets, I would really hate life too. 

So, that is my most recent blog. Wonderful isn't it? But then again, isn't life wonderful? 

Superiority Complex with a Twist;

So for my 100th post, I have decided I would like to write about Miss "holier than thou's" "I'm too good for you, floor" "I'm the best thing in the world" and "better recognize this Diva's" Superiority Complex. Now, I have no idea if that even made sense, lol. But, hopefully it did. Anyway, this blog post is about Nailah Sarayi. Evil Kitty with a superiority complex.

At least, that's what I have come to define her behavior as. By behavior I mean the simple fact that Nailah, if she can help it, and let me tell you, there isn't much she wont consider better than being so lowly as to actually sit/walk/stand/lay on the floor. Even if there is a piece of paper, on the floor, she HAS to be on that, rather than the floor.

She will hop, from place to place, around the house, as long as it means she does not have to dirty those precious paws of hers with the floors of the house. She is absolutely nuts. It's almost impossible to train her to get off of things, or get down. She will stand on a PENNY with one foot, doing a balancing act if it means she is "off" of the floor.

Thing is really getting old. What's the deal, eh? Anyone else with a pet that has a superiority complex??

Peace, Love and all that Shines,
Kaiden James.

Feeling sick, again.

So, the past two days my lungs have literally felt like they were full of water. I am -sometimes- able to cough stuff up to clear them, but sometimes I have no luck. It's not an asthma problem, but I believe an allergy problem. Some people, allergies bother their nose, congesting it, etc. Though I do have that problem, for the past year, my allergies have been affecting my lungs. Making it difficult to breathe.

One of the times I went to the hospital even, I was feeling this way, only slightly worse, and the doctor checked my lungs and said I sounded clear. That was the end of it. Gasping for breathe, he said I was clear, and was more worried about my heart rate. Which, at the time was completely out of control. I don't even remember if I blogged about this, but oh well, I'm commenting on it anyway.

He checked hormone levels, and found my T4 was slightly elevated, suggesting that I might have hyperthyroidism. Do I have it? No clue. Have no way of getting to a doctor. I check my heart rate periodically, as I do feel it getting out of hand sometimes. At which, those times I just lay down and take it easy until I feel my heart rate slowing down to a more normal pace.

I almost broke down earlier today and started crying. A huge wave of grief came over me about the loss of my grandmother, and I was lucky and had Nikhil right there next to me purring and rubbing up against me. He is such a purr butt, lol. I love him to death. He's also such a pig. Always wanting food. We can't say the word "hungry" or "food" or "treat" with out him beginning to wine and beg as if he hasn't eaten in days.

Really wish we could get Nailah looked out. For more than one reason. Her anxiety though it isn't as bad as it once was, it is still high. She still can't stand to be touched for more than a couple of seconds. The other, is her rib cage. I don't know what happened to her before we got her, but what ever it was, really damaged her. It just breaks our heart sometimes. But most the time she seems fine.

My abscessed tooth has been coming and going, in terms of severity. Soon though, hopefully I'll have the tooth taken out. Just waiting on money to come in. When ever it comes in. I don't want to go to the hospital again. I hate the hospital.

And I am starving right now, so I'm going to go and see if I can't get something to eat.

Peace, love and all that shines,
Kaiden James.

Harry Potter, Wizard 101, and My life

So, we finally broke down and agreed to purchase the sixth movie in the Harry Potter series. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Pa actually for my last birthday purchased the movie for us to finally see it on PPV. We hadn't seen it since, because all the money we made babysitting went to buying food for the household, and a year subscription for both Kash and I to Wizard101.

We've been playing a lot. You can find the link to our Wizard101 blog on the left. It's called Stormy Skies, after the last names of our main characters, Kieran Storm and Tristan Sky. Yesterday we managed to get our third wizards to grandmaster. A huge feat, if I do say so myself. Pretty cool IMO.

We are trying to get my mother to come and make a visit. It's been going on three years since I have seen her. I wanted to go to Az when my grandmother was in the hospital, but things here kind of prevented it, and then things there, further prevented it. So it never happened. I miss her. Yes, she's nuts, and yes, she can be a bitch, but she is still my mother. And I do love her.

Always will.

On to Kash, I must admit, not a day goes by that I do not thank the Gods that he is in my life. I love him so much, and he is my everything.

Nailah, is a brat. Nikhil is a jerk. But, they are too cute and we love them. The rats are doing well. I will eventually post some more pictures of them, but since we don't really have batteries, and I hate having to charge them just for them to work like two minutes, we haven't really been taking too many pictures.

Our diet so far has been a success. I've lost ten pounds in one week. Lets hope it continues. I just need to lose about 5lbs to be at my ideal weight for my height.

Peace, love and all that shines,
Kaiden James.

No tears;

Why I haven't really posted much on the death of my grandmother. I don't really know what it is, about me, but I've been like this since I was much younger. I can cry, and cry, and get emotional about losing something/someone over and over, before I actually lose it/them. However, it seems that once they/it is gone, I just can't cry. Or maybe I wont allow myself. Not really sure which it is. I just know, I've not been able to in a long time, post passing.

It doesn't mean that I'm not heart broken, because I am very heart broken. I miss her terribly, and not a moment goes by that I don't think of her, and want to pick up the phone to call her. Then realize, with a skipped heart beat, that she is not there to answer my call. It is devastating. She was my one constant in my life. The thing that I knew, no matter what was going on in the world, or with me, and everyone else, that if and when I called the house, she would answer, and we would talk for 5 minutes, to 5 hours.

I miss her.

I miss my grandmother.

Long time..I know.

Finally got around to moving my blog posts to a new blog. Didn't like that a few people were following the old one still. Now that that is gone, I can feel some what more comfortable speaking my mind. Lots of things, too many things, really, have gone on in just this past month. With having to go to the hospital, multiple times, to death, to moving, etc etc etc. I'm not in the mood to post now about them, and most likely I will back post about them. Now that I feel more comfortable speaking about my life, I will most likely be speaking more about my life.

The reason for which I am still alive;

is the very reason of which this blog is being written.

Kash.

Today, is our anniversary. It's only been two years, but it feels like an eternity. In a good way. Since some people use that reference as if it were a bad thing. But not me. To know Kash an eternity, and to have forever been in love with him, holding him, being held, etc...makes life worth living. He gives me reason.

I love you Kash, with all that I am.

My world, crashing down;

And all because my grandmother passed away. Today, was not a good day.

Very tired.

I've not really been feeling up to par lately. Always feeling tired and when I'm not completely tired, I'm feeling very disconnected from my body, and am unable to focus. It's getting to be pretty bad lately. Not something I can just easily explain either. No words really seem to fit to a T exactly how I feel. I just know that I'm not comfortable with it.

Nailah is driving me nuts. Damn cat is hungry every hour, on the hour. And yet, she only eats a few bites and then is done. However, she acts as if she is starving, and has been for days. Begs and begs for food, and insists on ignoring us when we tell her to 'get down' since she has made it a habit of jumping up on our chair, and walking all over us, literally to get to the desk.

It's also getting really annoying that she has the phobia of being on the floor. She will NOT for any reason allow her paws to touch the floor for more than one second. She will jump and hop from object (whether its able to hold a cat, or even big enough to) to get to another object, as long as it is 'off the ground'.

On the other hand, we can't keep Nikhil OFF the floor. Not that we want him on the desk, or ourselves, but he has made it a point to sleep ALWAYS where we walk. He insists on sleeping right under the chair..that when we sit up out of, we have to roll it back some and then get up..making it so we roll right over him. And he screeches and looks at us as if we had just done a huge injustice. It's like, HELLO! Stop laying UNDER the damn thing?!

To top it off, if he's not there, he's sleeping right where the door opens up at! Or, if we are down stairs, he insists on sleeping right smack in the middle of the kitchen floor, AS WE ARE COOKING! Can't tell you how many times we have stepped on him, tripped over him, etc. And we literally kick his ass out of the kitchen 15 times before he finally stops coming back and laying down in there, for the moment. The cycle just repeats itself the next time we have to go in the kitchen to do something.

Blah. Hate this feeling. Love Kash though, so much. My everything.

-Khai

Just don't want to?

Ever get the feeling where all of the sudden you realize, that everything you thought was important, just...isn't? Screw the fucking facebook apps. Screw the games and whether or not I'm in the lead. Screw it. Every day, all day, I sit here at the damn computer. Every day, I am missing out on everything that really IS important. Like the ones I love, the ones that count on me. The ones that love me, just as much as I do them. Why?

Well, no more. I don't want to go on ignoring them. Letting life pass me by, because I'm 26 now, I've got nothing to show for it. No education, no job, just a mess. Yes, I have love, yes, I have family, but what good am I to them really? I'm not. Am I? Not in one of the most important parts of my responsibility to them.

I've lost myself, in these games. I've forgotten who and what I am. I've forgotten how to express myself, forgotten how to convey my message. No more. I don't want it. I want me. I want me back, for them. For myself. For all that is good, and all that is kind. I want my life back. I'm taking it back. Starting, now.

-Khai

Death of many things..

..think any birth will come of this? So, tons has happened since I was last able to post. And despite I've some what had the net this past two or so weeks, it's been very unreliable, and at times, impossible to leach on to. Even then, I've hardly felt like blogging. It seems so much has changed, yet I'm still the same? Maybe, who knows. I'm sure I've changed to some degree, I mean, every day is a lesson, one in which we all grow and learn from.

One thing that has not changed, and yet, it has, is my love for Kash. He is my world. He is my rock, when I need something solid, my glue, when I need something permanent, my elastic, when I need something flexible. I can tell him anything, with out worrying about getting hurt, or being hurt, or even misunderstood. I love him so much, and I only wish he knew exactly how much. But, I'm sure he loves me just as much, and there for, I'm sure he knows.

Mama died, or rather, Isis, our hamster. I honestly can't remember if I ever blogged about that. I really can't remember if we had the net at the time, or not. That was hard on Rhett, and Kash. Li and Ase, of course were upset about it too. I was as well, but not as much as them. Then, Mnoti finally died. We knew that was coming, after all, she kept having problems with her eyes, and her weight. Finally though, we noticed labored breathing, and we seperated her from the other girls.

With in a week, she had died. Then just yesterday, Rasui died. That hit me hard. We noticed about a week ago, she started having labored breathing, and it was really sudden. Don't know what happened to her. But, she finally gave up yesterday evening. I held her as she took her last breaths. I whispered good bye to her as I felt her slipping away. Hopefully they are all in a much better place then here, in this world. Because all I see in the future, in terms of mankind as a whole, is a lot of crap.

I'm tired of the fighting, between everyone. It really needs to stop. But, how to make it stop? Well, I don't think it's even possible by a mere mortal such as myself.

Nailah, has officially started puberty, she's going through her second wave of heat spells. Real annoying, because we can't get much sleep as a result. Blah, oh well. We have a rat.. don't know if I ever had the opportunity of saying that. We took Cinaed and Ciaron back to the store, because we were tired of them fighting, and traded them in for Maiko. She's pretty good, and much more social than the mice. She was iffy at first, but now she's spoiled rotten.

Over all, I may be jobless, I may not have much to my name, but I do have Kash, and I do have my pets. I couldn't really ASK for more, despite I might want it. I love my life, because I have so much love in it. So much so, that it pushes past that hate that those assholes in the next room love to try and spread. After all, misery loves company. Well, this company ain't up for sell.

Nailah Sarayi


Maiko Taki

Bout time?

Yeah, I agree. Despite, many things have been going on, I still haven't and don't feel like going through the details. Long story short, I'm doing alright. Grant pushed me over the edge, an any forth coming instance on his part, and I'm gonna go off. Wont be pretty either. But, let's just HOPE he does, and he lays a finger on me, because the moment he does, that phone will be picked up, the police called, and his ass hauled off.

Then, it'd be restraining order time, and his ass wont be allowed back. Ever. Or at least as long as I have a say, which will be as long as I have a conscience. Ann, has been officially removed from my life, for now for always. I refuse to do this anymore. After she took it upon herself to elect myself and Kash, as the culprits behind the HO hacking, and then went even farther and said that we had broken up, and had a big fight.

Which, according to her, was the reason for my hacking of HO. Um, can we say no? No. That, in itself, sums it up.

Right now, I am dealing with a heavy head ache. It is killer, atm, and I think I'm gonna need to take some medicine. Kash and I have been battling the flu, thanks to the dick and cunt living under these same roofs. We took our AC out, because let's face it, it's just not hot enough to keep it in there and run it, when at night, on average, it's 65 degrees out. Just leave the window open with a fan (sometimes, usually winds up off with in an hour) and the temperature is perfect.

Is it any wonder the fucks are still sick? Still not getting much to eat, but foods food right? If we have to eat bread for dinner, then we have to do just that. I just cant wait, and neither can Pa, because in his words 'hopefully sooner than later' they'll be gone.

Me and Kash? Stronger than ever. Our one year anniversary is very soon. Today is Lestat's unofficial/official birthday. Happy Birthday Les. Enjoy your day. It wouldn't be your day, with out a head ache, huh? Lol. Okay, I'll shut up now on that.

Thankful, for Kash, Rhett, Ase and Li for being in my life. You make life worth living, and bearable on days I don't even want to get out of bed. Nina, you are the best friend and sister anyone could ever ask for. I feel sorry for Brett and Chelsie for not realizing. Maybe one day they'll come around? (Hopefully that is their names, lol.)

Anyway, peace out.

Kai.

Just haven't felt like it;

Don't know why, but it's just the way it's been. I haven't felt like blogging. I guess it's mostly because the nets been so unstable. Don't know when it's just gonna give out completely. I really hate the asses that are still living here, but what really, can I do about it? Nothing. The rain on the other hand, has been nice. I've enjoyed the constant pouring of the rain, the flashes of lightning, and pangs of thunder for a change.

It had been seeming as though all the storms were just passing us by. But, we finally got some this past couple of days. I love the rain. Soon hopefully, we were thinking of going to go fishing. I had/have a lot to see, but like the title says, just haven't felt like it. And that too means now, just don't really feel like getting it all out. Not even sure what all is there even. So, I apologize. This blog has been a waste.