Don't ask where this blog is going, I couldn't think of a title, so I put that. Don't bother wondering what all that means either, since I'm not gonna explain, or maybe I will, lol. I don't know. I just feel like blogging, so mostly random shit will be coming out. If you like random shit, sweet, if not, oh fucking well.
So, Ann put minutes on her phone today. She was finally able to get on messenger, and even call me for all of 5 minutes so far. I think she's gonna call back when her phone stops cutting out. We'll see. :/ I do love her. Her obsessive, pathological lying has got to go, but I do love her. And I do wish for her to have all the happiness.
Whether that's with Kash and I, we'll find out soon enough. Kash and I have said it before, and I'll say it again. Neither of us truly believe she'll be with us, for all of this life. Not, like it was. Kash and I are soul mates, she has her own soul mate out there. When she finds them, she will likely not necessarily forget about us, but yes.. she will slowly fade herself out from our existance.
Not forever. But, like I said, things wont be like they were, or could have been. That's fine with Kash and I though, we just want her to be happy, while we are happy. And everyone knows that Kash and I are happy with just each other. We're with Ann right now, more for her, than for us, despite in my case, I reallllly do love her, and miss her like crazy right now.
I miss her quirks. Most of all. She's so quirky. Bubbly. Something I, nor Kash am. She is not like us, at all. I like that. I love that Kash is just like me, minus a few small details, but I love that Ann is totally out there, and nothing like us as well. Hm. Anyways.. I'm trying to eat, but despite I'm hungry, I'm not motivated. Boo.
Kash Vs. Kashi, hmm, how about a little of both please. Like I take my coffee, with cream and sugar, give me some of both, and I'm in heaven.
-Khai
And, I'm guilty with my thoughts again. I should probably blog about that, but, you know my thoughts well enough to know what those thoughts are without me saying them so theres really no point in doing so. You know me like the back of your hand as I hope that I do you.
ReplyDeleteI mean, look, I see you make your cereal once, and I made it, yes? Okay, bad example. Coffee? No, sorry I make horrible coffee, well at least for others. I'll get there though. Right? I'd hope so.
Okay, I really don't know where this is going either, so I'll shut up.
.
.
.
Or, maybe not.
I do love you with all my heart, and I just want to happy. You say that I am that happiness you seek, and I feel that I am, but some times, just like you, I worry. Okay, I worry more than you, but that's besides the fucking point. Alright? Alright.
The point is ...
I love you and I try, I try really hard to make you happy, despite I'm soooo fucking scared that I'm not going to be good enough and that one day I'm going to be replaced. I know we're soulmates, and I am so grateful I finally found you, but, you know how Miana works in my head and that really gets to me sometimes.
Like right now, but we won't go there, at least not in your comments.
Why?
Because, I love you and want to make you happy. Not that a long comment will make you happy, but it will bring a smile to your face, at least I hope it does. And, Gods, I love to see you smile. And hear you laugh, and feel your touch, even if its just to hold me for a split second. Or, those tiny glances you look toward me thinking that I don't see but I really do. Yeah, those, I love those, don't you know?
You should know by now, but if not, now you do. Great.
You know what else I love? I love waking up to your whimpers. Your little sleepy moans when you first wake up. And, those that aren't from waking but from your dreams. Just so I can pull you close and hold you so you'd settle back down again. Do you remember those? I do.
I don't know what I'd do without you. You've been here ten days baby, ten days, and it feels like we have never been apart despite the majority of our relationship was online. Maybe I'm crazy for feeling that way, but, I'm telling you, the moment that I saw you.. felt you.. heard you in person.. everything.. it just fit. Like my hand with yours. You inbetween my legs.. You are.. I just.. the only words that come to me is "Khaiden James Finn, I love you, will you marry me again?" And, I'll hear you in my head if I'm not literally saying it, and you'll say "Kashi, I marry you every night."
Do you even realize that every little thing that you do I try to remember if its the good stuff? Despite I do tend to forget to tell you to take your vitamin c.. and to get the rubbing alcohol. Yeah, but, you forgive those flaws. And, I forgive yours. And, god I love your kisses.. your hugs.. how you just ask for a kiss and then go get our coffee.. you are just..
my all. my world. my everything. my god.
anamchara. chuisle. chroi.
&; Kash
There's are people that leaves footprints on the sand and then their footprints slowly starts to not be there anymore.Ann seems like this a wonderful and lovely person Im sure but a bit blurry...
ReplyDeleteYou have Kash whom loves you deeply as well as Im Sure Ann does too
Keep your happiness and worry about today,Khai :)
I am so happy for you guys. I am sorry that you have other issues going on that you have to deal with but remember that you love each other and that in that you need to work to keep a happy, healthy relationship.
ReplyDelete